Teddy Dies Again
8 x 11"
trad x digital
2006
I was in second year in high school when I got a free teddy
bear from our Christmas party, it came from Shakey's Pizza as a bonus for
choosing them as our party food. They had these free white teddy bears so I got
one. Four years later, I was in second year of college when I got the idea to
hang this cute little bear on a noose and put him on my bag as a keychain.
Since then It was imitated by other students in our
university and soon I saw other people doing it outside our campus. Teddy even
got mentioned at my Fudge magazine interview about fashion back in 2006. And up
until today he's still alive, I mean dead. I mean he's still here with me, I
mean I still have him. He's just hangin'
and chillin' and ain't givin' a fuck.
 |
| Fudge Magazine December 2006 |
I've actually made lots of hanged stuffed toys, including a
black teddy, a small teddy.
Even Jack Skellington has joined in the fun and has hanged
himself in my room.
 |
| Jack's already dead right? |
Yes I do have a thing for suicides, it's even my topic for
my thesis. I'm not really fond of it nor would want to commit it. I did almost do
it though when I was so depressed at a low point in my life. But if you ask me,
as much as anything in this world, I chose to live instead. Because truth be
told, no matter how depressed I get, whenever I feel down and suicidal, I just
make or finish an artwork or write a poem or short story or essay or paint or
make comics... I feel better. And that's some solid advice right there,
whenever you feel suicidal, just do something you love doing and keep you mind
away from anything that's making you think you want to die.
 |
| At least I haven't crucified any teddy bears yet. |
Focus it on creating something, or doing something that you
thought you'd never get to do, like writing a book or painting a masterpiece,
anything! You choose! And after you finished writing or painting or drawing. I
guarantee you'll feel much better. I do have lots of hanged stuff toys, but
they don't make me want to hang or kill myself, they serve as a reminder. A
reminder of how funny or silly the act of taking one's own life is. If you
aren't terminally I'll or you aren't suffering or anything of the like, then
you don't need to kill yourself.
You want to know a secret? Life is too short! Think of the
things you can get done and not even
finish in this lifetime! So why would you want to end your life so abruptly
over something like a break-up or a fuck up? There are far worse things that
you can do in this life, and taking your life too soon is not really going to
make things better for that girl who broke-up with you or your family that you
love so much. If you're in debt think of the funeral costs they'd be spending
money on instead of you just getting a job. Or imagine if you jumped off a
cliff and you lived, have you ever thought of how much the hospital bill would
cost? Geeze, just live. Get over it and be a man or a hot woman instead. Don't
let your end be as dissatisfying as giving up. Not everything is in our control,
it doesn't have to be. But we can choose what and what not to think about. Or try
telling a friend about your problems or if you don't have a friend write a
blog. Just try and express yourself so that you don't have to carry all that
weight you choose to carry along with you.
 |
| Black Teddy has so many problems... |
Wouldn't it be better to live your life the way you want to?
Or at least die trying to achieve your goals and dreams? And surprise surprise
when you do achieve them you'll find yourself you want to do more, your goals
just keeps growing and you wouldn't even think of killing yourself after that.
In face life does get better and you'll actually want to live longer. You've
come full circle now! Wouldn't it be better to die happy and satisfied of the
life you lived?
In the end, we all die eventually. So don't get too excited
to end your life, you'll get there soon enough.
Marius Black
Manila, 2016
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